‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’: 10 important life lessons from the film

Dont read this if you havent seen the film. A hilarious mock take on the film.Some really interesting points mentioned.

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You probably know by now that ‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’ is a heavy duty romance triangle between Shah Rukh Khan, Katrina Kaif and Anushka Sharma played out over a period of 10 years. If unrequited love isn’t your thing, this is a film to skip. But JTHJ is also a great example of how cinema can teach you not to be stupid in life or take it completely for granted.
There are spoilers ahead so if you haven’t seen the film, please feel free to come back later. This was director Yash Chopra’s swansong and his hand is evident in every scene of the film, some beckoning you to postcard-perfect, snow-covered London and some to the rugged terrains of Ladakh.
We pick the 10 most ludicrous aspects of the film that make ‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’ boringly mortal and teach us valuable life lessons in what not to do if you ever find yourself in any of the following situations.

Lightening does strike the same point twice:

Irony is a b****. To be struck by a car while on a motorcycle is one thing. But to be struck by a car twice is plain foolishness. Major Samar Anand is a poster boy for road safety. First, he gets hit by a car while showing off his biking skills to his new girlfriend. The second time he gets hit again by a car while waiting for Discovery Channel reporter Akira (Anushka Sharma). Look while you are crossing the road.
Rapidex English just goes out of business:
Everything is possible in cinema. If you set your mind to learning perfect English, you can learn it despite thousands of distractions in the form of a very pretty Katrina Kaif. Shah Rukh, who goes by using Pidgin English in London, morphs into a suave, smooth-talking gentleman with a bit of a nudge from the woman he loves. She in return aces a difficult Punjabi song with guitar chords and all, taught by Shah Rukh.

Who needs a bomb suit?:

There are bombs waiting to defused, literally everywhere and every day. Major Samar Anand, an officer with the army’s bomb disposal unit, takes on one IED after another with his bare hands. Armed with just a clipper, Anand refuses a bomb suit every time his services are called for. Is it practical? Of course not. But that’s what you do when you flirt with death – basically be stupid – without a care for your loved ones.

There are easier and less expensive ways to die, you know?

After being rejected by his lady love because of a promise she made to god, Samar Anand dives headfirst into a life of danger. He joins the Indian army’s bomb disposal unit and defuses live ammunition for a living as a counter-vow to Katrina to risk his life every day. It does seem a very roundabout way to die, no? Jumping off a building or an overdose of pills would have been quicker. But who are we to get in the way of a death drawn out over several years?

Keep your chatty friends away when you are defusing bombs:

Anushka Sharma is a chatty, aspiring reporter for the Discovery channel with a penchant for finding trouble. Trussed to a rope and hanging under a bridge to film Shah Rukh Khan at work, she happily chats away without the slightest worry that she might be actually distracting him from what is clearly a highly dangerous job.
The army’s only purpose is to play football with its guests:
Our jawans are in fact so bored of their monotonous lives that they are willing to wait on hand and foot for the world’s most ditzy reporter. They cook for her and dance with her and hurl beer bottles around while she twists them around her little finger.

Come again, a promise made to…whom?

So Meera, who is a habitual trader with God, promises to give up Samar if Jesus would spare his life and keep him alive. It’s the silliest thing we have heard in a long time. Who gives up a man she loves because she thinks that her being with him will be a danger to his life? What happened to fighting for someone if you love them?

Retrograde amnesia:
If you must have an affliction, go for retrograde amnesia. It is the most convenient illness known to Indian doctors to get the hero out of a sticky spot. He can’t remember a thing from the past and finds it difficult to adjust to the present. But the condition is temporary and he will make a full recovery over time (read: after the plot twists are sorted).

British police…dude, don’t let a stranger saunter into a cordoned-off area!

The British police allows a stranger who looks disoriented and can actually be the one to plant it, tackle live ammunition because ‘he looks like he knows what he’s talking about!’ Are you kidding me?
You are still single because you read other people’s diaries
Never, ever read someone’s personal diary – children are taught this at age 5. Either Akira Rai’s parents left that bit of education out or she defied her upbringing anyway. It’s rude not only to read someone’s diary but to quiz him on that afterwards, which she does. If she wonders why she’s still single, it’s because she does not respect people’s private spaces.

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11 Comments
  1. Shinji 7 years ago

    few more added by utkal ( i hope copying from other portal is not disallowed here, if so mod please remove it)

    you could add a couple more, supplied by one from our group of eleven ( since I was too mind-numbed to think):

    1. If you want to do maximum damage to your enemy, plant bombs in deserted heights of Ladakh where the population density is about 1 for 10 sq kms.

    2. If you want to leave your child and run away with your lover, don’t do it when she is 4 or 5 or 6, wait till she is twelve, the perfect age for abandonment. ( It will entail buying a little less number of birthday dresses to stuff in yoir wardrobe.)

    • Baba Ji 7 years ago

      LOL! saw then on fb

    • sputnik 7 years ago

      1. The first scene had people cordoned off and SRK says to open the market after defusing the bomb. Another one was for bridge which could be to cut off supplies. Except for the Anushka saving blast scene the others did not create any suspense or tension. There should have just copied this scene from The Hurt Locker which I had posted in Scene of the Week.

      Scene of the Week : The Hurt Locker

      2. There is no right age to abandon your child. Akele Hum Akele Hum had Manisha abandon her child and that made her look bad in our Indian context. Its all about western vs eastern philosophy. In western philosophy its all about you being happy first and the movie tried to justify that with the Rishi-Neetu track. In Indian philosophy the woman has to sacrifice her personal happiness for her family.

  2. sputnik 7 years ago

    Agree with some and disagree with this ones below.

    hmm… Just because Rapidex English is there does not mean that English teachers or English teaching schools don’t exist. May be this point will be more valid for English Vinglish. Why does Sridevi go to English learning school when she could learn English from Rapidex English 😉

    “Everything is possible in cinema. If you set your mind to learning perfect English, you can learn it despite thousands of distractions in the form of a very pretty Katrina Kaif. Shah Rukh, who goes by using Pidgin English in London, morphs into a suave, smooth-talking gentleman with a bit of a nudge from the woman he loves. She in return aces a difficult Punjabi song with guitar chords and all, taught by Shah Rukh.”

    No big deal. Its a movie. More implausible things happen in movies.

    “Who needs a bomb suit?:

    Armed with just a clipper, Anand refuses a bomb suit every time his services are called for. Is it practical? Of course not. But that’s what you do when you flirt with death – basically be stupid – without a care for your loved ones.”

    The Oscar winning movie The Hurt Locker also has a scene where the hero removes his bomb suit and goes about defusing a bomb. No one questioned that.

    The movie did not show any loved ones of SRK except Katrina. SRK says he wants to be in “maut ki godh” and take up life taking risk every day. They needed an excuse to make him a bomb defuser.

    “Keep your chatty friends away when you are defusing bombs:”

    cinematic liberty

    “The army’s only purpose is to play football with its guests:”

    So the army does not play football or cook or drink beer?

    • Baba Ji 7 years ago

      there are many jobs in the world which have death-risks. deep sea diving, sky diving . even the life of a bank security guard!! Even if we are to assume srk suddenly developed the biggest daring in the world, it is not enough to just get a job of bomb diffuser in army. You need much more that just daring. Knowledge and prerequisite qualification of so many things. most importantly ,the motive (or the lack of it ? ) behind joining army itself is hollow in the film.

      • sputnik 7 years ago

        Baba,

        Lot of people do deep sea diving and sky diving for pleasure. They don’t go around diffusing bombs for pleasure 😉 Bank security guard risk is very less compared to bomb defuser.

        The movie did not show how he became a bomb defuser or how he joined army. There was a 10 year gap after which he was shown as a bomb defuser.

        As for army eligible age that some mentioned in another post – SRK says he was 25 in London starting scene and during memory loss thing he says he knows Meera for 3 years thing. He could have said 1 year and it would make him eligible for army assuming 27 is the age. That can be categorized under goofs.

        • hithere 7 years ago

          For Engineers it is 27. For University degree holder 25.

          • Baba Ji 7 years ago

            hithere – you are right.I dont remember him saying 25. He said late 20s i think. anyway it disqualifies him even if he was 25.

        • Baba Ji 7 years ago

          Sigh! spuntik – I am talking about professionals here. Not those who got inspired by znmd and do it under the guidance of experts 😉

          You may not be aware but each of those professions i mentioned involves high risk depending upon the level of the job. Army job is no doubt riskier but again you didnt get my point. As i said before, just daring alone cannot take you through into the army.You need necessary qualifications plus definite physical conditioning parameters.Army angle is simply introduced here because it makes you look tough and cool. There is this whole glorious historical background of the Indian army that gets attached to you and one thinks the film gets some sort of “gravity”.Something as gimmicky as the “Raw vs ISI” angle in ETT.But you are right that it can be categorized as goofs because this is really a petty issue compared to other obvious ones.

  3. ankur 7 years ago

    Aamir Khan Asks For Distracting Shah Rukh Khan Poster-Boy To Be Removed

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