Housefull 2 Telegraph Movie Review by Pratim D. Gupta

You know that feeling when you watch something and you know that you have seen it before but can’t immediately place where. Yes, yes that deja vu moment. In Housefull 2 you have that feeling every five minutes. You know why? Because you were served the same joke five minutes back and it was such a lame joke, you can’t even remember it!

Ayeeeeee! Sajid bhai, kyun thak raha hai?

Biggest hit? Sic.

We really don’t know how else to define a film that has a pet python, which is clearly a fat tube of rubber, hanging from the crotch of a man who shakes his hips as if he is inside a hula hoop! And any ideas what the reptile is called? Francis Ford Sapola! If you find that funny, you seriously need a therapist.

There’s one in the film. Just that this ‘the-rapist’ is called Dr Ranjeet Vasna K. Pujaari and is played by ‘the-rapist’ extraordinaire, Ranjeet himself. Woh hamare leading man Sunny (Akshay Kumar) ka baap hai, aur woh uska paap hai!

So when the rapist’s rascal son meets his guests inside a topsy-turvy tent by the Thames, he says: “Langurs, have my angoors.” You get the drift, right?

Ayeeeeee! Hang on… there’s much more!

The other desi boy Max (John Abraham) not only has his silly smileys but also his own set of similes. “BBC ka toh pataa nahin, but I’ve News for you”, “George Michael ka toh pataa nahin but have Faith in me”, “Slumdog ka toh pataa nahin, but yeh Millionaire ka house hai”…. Yes, the kind of lines you wouldn’t even retweet for your worst enemy.

They are both Jolly. Why just them, the other two men (Shreyas Talpade and Riteish Deshmukh) also call themselves Jolly. And there’s a line somewhere which goes: “Jolly meet Dolly; let’s play Holi!”

No, no, “I’m (not) a-joking” a la Aakhri Pasta (Chunkey Pandey), who is a marriage maker in this quasi-sequel (using such a term for a Sajid Khan film is such an insult… to the term) and whose towel gets stolen in a sauna.

Aye shapath! Yes, if there’s Riteish, there has to be Marathi gaali. As a bonus feature, there’s a smattering of Sindhi and Gujarati cuss words thrown in too.

Ayeeeeee! More rowdy reptiles.

This one perhaps would beat the Joginders and Kanti Shahs of the world. There’s a crocodile — real one in close-up, hard toy in wide angles — who Sunny sends to snooze mode by feeding pills that his father Ranjeet used on women, so that he can pluck out the croc’s wisdom tooth.

“Sense of humour!” “Sense of humour!” As some characters keep shouting in the film.

And there are four girls for the four boys (what else to call the quadragenarians shown dancing in a college graduation party!) for the four weddings and your funeral. These female forms (Asin, Jacqueline Fernandez, Zarine Khan, Shazahn Padamsee) — who have lesser lines to mouth than item girl Malaika Anarkali Khan — come in various shapes and sizes. The contest is to find a real nose or an original set of lips from among them. Trust us, it’s not going to be easy!

Ayeeeeee! Papa toh band bajaaye!

That they do. The only people remotely watchable in this senseless circus are the Papas (Mithun Chakraborty, Rishi Kapoor, Randhir Kapoor, Boman Irani). With just silences and stares, Mithunda’s London billionaire JD (he was Jagga Daaku, who had surrendered to his police commissioner friend, Boman’s Batook Patel!) is like a much-needed pit stop in this ridiculous rascal ride. And Rishi and Randhir, who play Chintu and Dabboo Kapoor, actually bring a smile to your face, even as a slightly rearranged Raj Kapoor theme plays in the background every time they come together on screen. Touche!

For the rest of the 160 minutes, it’s rubbery reptiles, botoxed beauties and juvenile Jollys.

Ayeeeeee! Ayeeeeee!

Just in case you are wondering why we have wasted so many vowels above, well, that’s Akshay Kumar going “Ayeeeeee! Ayeeeeee!” throughout the 16 reels as your brain is being pestled inside Sajid Khan’s biennial mortar!

Full house ka toh pataa nahin, Housefull 2 is a house for fools. You know better whether you belong there.

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