Why these filmmakers met Steven Spielberg

A couple of days ago Steven Spielberg was in India and apparently 61 filmmakers attended his masterclass. Now I don’t know all 61 one of them but here’s my idea why some of them were there.

Abhishek Kapoor – He wanted to make yet another movie on friendship and wanted to cast Dino-the Jurrasic Park Dinosaurus , Abraham the Lincoln and one of the many aliens in many of steve’s masterpieces. Allah ke naam pe ek alien de de re baba.

Anurag Kashyap – He wanted Spielberg to learn to speak French and read hindi and see Gangs of Wasseypur’s French DVD (with hindi subtitles) and then tweet about it, so that he can retweet it.

AR Murgadoss– He wanted to tell Spielberg that he should learn from Christopher Nolan to make impossible to understand movies like Memento so that the desi junta can’t get a thing of it and he can remake it with 4 songs and south indian action.

Ashutosh Gowarikar– He went there to advice Spielberg to not edit his movies that much. If it goes over 3 hours- Its okay.

Ayaan Mukherjee– Who is he?

R.Balki – He wanted to cast Spielberg as the next little thing in his movie about diminishing returns.

Bejoy Nambiar– To teach Spielberg on how to make a good trailer (only)

David Dhawan– He went there because there was free food and he had an unused Hawaiian shirt.

Farah Khan– She just wanted to go there and say _Karan Srk Steven and I are like a family and steven can slap Shirish if he wants to.

Homi Adajania– He just took his first name, wayyyy too seriously.

Indra Kumar– He went there, so that he can push someone, and then all the dominos can fall down and then he could use that for his next film.

Javed Akhtar– Just to show how you can talk English in Hindi

Kabir Khan– To get rights for his next film “Ek the Spielberg”

Karan Johar– He wanted to give a farewell and a posthumous tribute to Spielberg even before he dies and especially to say-“the Memories will always remain in our hearts. Yash uncle ..oops..Steven uncle we love you”

Kunal Kohli– Because YashRaj still gives him free passes

Madhur Bhandarkar– To get material on his next film called “Director”

Mahesh Bhatt– To show he can pull off a top 2 button open never been washed Shirt for the umpteenth time and scratch his chest while talking to Steven and in the process- spit shower his face.

Onir – To introduce himself and ask for money to make yet another of the same film about homosexuality with Sanjay Suri

Priyadarshan– He was just there for the show ending so that he can create some chaos and a climax scene out of all his movies.

Prasoon Joshi– To tell Steven that he and Aamir khan can do it better.

Rajkumar Gupta– To tell him that no one killed Jesscia

Rajkumar Hirani– To offer steven a role in his next film where he can say”Bas bhi kar ab rulaega kya”

Rakesh Roshan– To calrify that Koi Mil Gaya has nothing to do with ET

Ram Gopal Varma– He just wanted to announce his next film- Ram Gopal Varma ki Jurrasic Park”

Reema Kagti– She followed a spot boy who was chewing her brand of gutka

Rohit Shetty– He wanted to blow up Steven’s car and expected everyone to laugh at it.

Sajid Khan– Just to show off Jaquline and his pimples

Subhash Ghai– Just to Show..Man…

Sudhir Mishra– ye pata karne- iske baal mere baalon se safed kaise

Sujoy Ghosh– He thought it was an award function where they are honoring Kahaani. He was just about to thank Vidya

Vipul Shah– He was invited by mistake- They actually wanted Faridoon from Bollywood Hungama

Vishal Bhardwaj– He wanted Steven to write a novel, which he can adapt

Sanjay Leela Bhansali– He was the only one who went to the class for its purpose- To teach Steven Spielberg.

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3 Comments
  1. Reddemon 7 years ago

    Wasnt Maniratnam, adity chopra, sooraj barjatya and the likes invited?
    What about actors?

  2. sputnik 7 years ago

    Found Karan Johar, Madhur Bhandarkar, Mahesh Bhatt, Onir, Rajkumar Hirani, Reema Kagti funny. Did not find the rest funny.

    I don’t understand why Indian celebrities make a big deal whenever any Hollywood celebrity comes to India. I feel they act like as if some British royalty came when India was under British rule.

  3. Alia Bhatt fan 7 years ago

    instead of aspiring to go to hw, why not try to make films like hw here? it is said that pehle jaan dekho, phir armaan dekho, most of the indian filmakers are not capable of making films that appeal to mainstream foreign audience, spielberg ya kisi hw celeb se associate hoke koi matlab nahi. banaoge tumlog kites aur ra1 hi.

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