The Rise and Fall of the Khiladi

Akshay Kumar In his latest film, Akshay Kumar dons a buttercup yellow jacket and shakes his rump. This vision from the just-out Housefull Part 2 is symptomatic of all the god-awful things Kumar has been stuck doing for too long. Prancing and dancing. Swanning and mooning. Add a few more things if you like, but it won’t make me think any different. He is not doing anything he should be. Akshay is right now in a holding pattern, waiting to break free. Can this Kumar challenge, as he once did, the hegemony of the Khans and the Kapoors?

Will that make any difference to the price of petrol? It won’t. What it has done, this stasis on the part of the star and his handlers, is to deprive us of a performer who can actually do his job. There are those who laugh their heads off when β€œacting” and β€œAkshay” are placed in the same space. But there are all kinds of acting, and there will always be need for a lean, mean action hero, who doesn’t need elevators to add on the inches. Akshay’s arc shows growth. His voice is still unfortunate, but it’s now better controlled. A baritone he will never be, but a lighter, raspier voice has its uses. From only being able to throw his hands and feet about, he has managed to sit, be quiet, and be noticed.

His early Khiladi outings had a great deal of callowness. It helped, but only a little, that his co-star was a little callower. Curly mop-topped Saif Ali Khan was trying out his spurs, literally: remember those heels he wore? Akshay’s locks competed with Saif’s in length, and he delivered dialogue just the way heroes did back then: feet planted in front of the camera, head swiveling, veins standing out when emotional: β€œyeh dekho, tumne meri bhabhi ko vidhwa bana diya”, he tells leading lady Shilpa Shetty, who was then dusky, squeaky and possessed of her own nose.

But despite the cheese and the lashings of ham, the Khiladi films were hits. Akshay, with his height, brawn and willingness to learn on the job, pulled ahead, and kept surging via a Yashraj helping hand, fizzy drink adverts, and films that played to his strengths. He became the Khiladi Kumar and created his own little niche in a film industry which likes to place its bankable stars in a box, and who better to leap off tall buildings, deliver a roundhouse kick, and smile fatuously at a lady love?

There was a time when he looked invincible. A bunch of films which sharpened his guy-next-door image, Namaste London on, was a smart move. Place him in a village bumpkin role, and he could do it without letting any other shade show. He showed he could send himself up, do humour, both wry and dry, even if it was in flashes. His back story was attractive. His β€˜humble’ Old Delhi roots (which he tried mining, without success, in Chandni Chowk To China), his stint in Bangkok where he famously earned a living tossing noodles when he was not learning the latest martial arts moves, his steady progress to the top, with a pit stop to marry the daughter of a famous Bollywood couple, so what if said couple had split. This was a journey made-to-order for a PR company and a star who needed the spin.

The slide started with the mega success of Singh Is Kinng, in which he put on a pagri to become a sardar. It catapulted him to the kind of place from where you can only see glass houses, and the stone-throwers are either invisible or people out to get you. The nice turn in Khakee (the cop with seriously grey shades and a curl of the lip is one of his best acts) was forgotten. A quiet performance which didn’t set the box office ablaze vs a broad, shout-out-loud bhangra in the shadow of the pyramids with Kat Kat doing the can can which got viewers stampeding? What was to choose?

Since then, it’s been a slide. Nothing he’s done recently β€” loveable scamp, good-natured shrew-tamer, chump who bumps-and-grinds and pratfalls and jumps through hoops, anything as long as the money comes in β€” has been his way out. He is now stuck in movies which he is only notionally fronting, where he has to share space with seven guys and three girls. And a virulently-coloured jacket.

His next outing seems to be a desperate bid to come back to the club in which the big boys fly solo. Rowdy Rathore’s first look promises us, once more, a ’70s masala template where the hero bashes 30 goons with a single fist. Can this be Akshay’s Dabangg? And once that is done and dusted, can he get back to playing something that will require a better mooch? Real men need a serious β€˜tache.

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17 Comments
  1. sunil 12 years ago

    Other Actors are doing worse.Shahrukh Khan’s Ra1 is worst film than any Akshay film and is flop.Don 2 again underperformed and is semi hit.Salman Khan is doing bad films like body guard.Aamir Khan doenst have a hit since 2009 and his talaash looks flop.

    • Baba Ji 12 years ago

      sunil good to see you here lekin itne saste mein aap nahi niptoge,i want a post from you πŸ˜€

  2. Serenzy 12 years ago

    @baba
    hardly any cmments here yaar…I think u r bragging/overhyping abt Tanqeed too much instead of being humble and nice.

    …..

    @sunil
    U r such a kiddish fanatic.

    Ra1 is deffo bettr dan many akki films post SIK.
    Don2 underperformd, my foot…It is such a clean hit.

    Talaash is going to be Huge…3 idiots ko cross karke dikhaye akki tab baat karenge.

    …..

    I have nothing against sputnik/tanqeed but its baba who is pissing evryone off.
    Anyways,will try and cmment here regularly frm now on.

    Except milu,shilac,ali any more fans here???

    • Author
      sputnik 12 years ago

      @Serenzy,

      Nice to see you here. You are right that there are not many comments here but this goes for you and everyone else yaar. If you find anything interesting here please do comment.

      The first comment from a new user goes through moderation. Once I approve that the rest of the comments automatically show up.

      Do you want me to delete the Champ Id you had created earlier? I don’t think you commented with that Id.

      There are other srk fans like Raj, Fasel, imareza too but they are not that active. cr7 is a bit active.

      Baba is doing free PR and as you know he is always hyper πŸ˜‰

      @Baba,

      Now don’t over hype tanqeed then it might become another Ra.One πŸ˜‰

      • Baba Ji 12 years ago

        if ng members are fools its not my problem sputnik,they dont get the sarcasm of my extreme comments about ng or exaggeration of tanqeed,then nothing i can do about it!

  3. Serenzy 12 years ago

    Sputnik

    c’mon now….Allow my cmments in.
    πŸ˜€

  4. password 12 years ago

    Khiladi will rise again after RR, as HF2 has given him an edge to edge out SRK – the one who is fading, fading big time πŸ˜›

  5. Serenzy 12 years ago

    @baba
    ur just too demeaning & self-centred…Try and be a little less hyper and nicer.

    Attacking ng doesnt lead u anywhere…Infact promote tanqeed in a better way to attract viewrs instead of being harsh,snobbish.

    ng got 27k hits on fri for hf2 release…Try and match dat in a positive way instead of whining abt it.

    @sputnik
    yes,u can delete my champ id…
    and dont u worry,tanqeed has lotsa potential and such potential will get acceptance slowly and gradually.

    I am fully in support wid u and will make sure to cmment here regulrly.

    We will attract many quality users over time no doubt.

    Lets dance to d fact dat v r way better den SatyamSquirts currntly.
    πŸ˜‰

  6. Serenzy 12 years ago

    And plz bestow me wid precious posting rights.
    πŸ˜€

  7. password 12 years ago

    @serenzy- to bore people to death πŸ˜›

  8. Serenzy 12 years ago

    @password

    Who you??

    • Password 12 years ago

      This is FS. I changed to fearlesssoul but nobody approved my comments. So back in password mode πŸ™

  9. Serenzy 12 years ago

    I heard from some users that Baba & Milind r planning something Big and Huge to topple/tackle NG…Lololol.
    πŸ˜€

    Best Of Luck Guyz…My wishes wid u.

    • Baba Ji 12 years ago

      serenzy – it seems rohit has kept too many watchdogs on sb.Information leaked so quickly that i have got warning of page deletion.WTF! :-/

  10. Password 12 years ago

    Babaji

    Rohit: be careful baba, i have warned you?
    Rohit: FS tell baba to be careful
    FS: What for?
    Rohit: Just tell him, he knows for what

    :/

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