Sridevi and Gauri Shinde Interview on The Front Row with Anupama Chopra

I am a better director than Balki: Gauri Shinde

How did you get to directing films?
I was born and brought up in Pune and came to Mumbai to intern with Sidharth Kak and then joined advertising and worked with IBW and Bates Clarion before joining Lowe Lintas, where I worked for a couple of years before I took a sabbatical to study in New York because I did not have the confidence to direct an ad film. After coming back, I directed over 100 ad films before I made my first feature film English Vinglish.

How did Balki and you fall in love?
Balki was the National Creative Director at Lowe, where I also worked in the films department. He liked me from the very first time he saw me in the lift. I ignored him for a long while, but then we became friends and started dating a few months later. Of course, predictably on our first date we saw two back-to-back films — one was a Kajol film as we were both her fans, followed by Zubeidaa. I guess Balki knew that taking me out for a film was the best way to woo me. Several years later, just before the release of Cheeni Kum in 2007, we got married.

Do you plan to have kids?
That’s for another life. This lifetime is for me. I am quite a selfish person. There is so much I have to do in my life. Having a child is a lifelong commitment. My parents’ lives are completely ruined because of us. While they feel they can’t do without us, I feel it is a lifelong commitment. I love animals and pets more as they expect less. I love other people’s kids but I think once you have your own kids, you stop loving them. Balki and I thought the same way even when we got married and so far, our feelings have not changed.

You are both creative people with conviction. Does it lead to conflict?
We are both strong-headed. Between the two of us, there are phases. Whoever has more pressure becomes more dominating. When he was directing his films, he was more dominating. Through my film, I have been more dominating and he was supportive of me. Between us, I have better directorial skills, but he has great writing skills that I don’t think I can match up to. Balki, as a man, is very liberated so between us there is really no ego of the man-woman kind, but it can be competition about two people being in the same field. Also, since Balki is older, more powerful and already established, it makes it that much more difficult for me to come out of his shadow and be viewed as an individual.

You have said that English Vinglish draws its inspiration from your mother? Explain.
I made this film to say sorry to my mother. My mother is a Marathi-speaking woman, who runs her own pickle business out of our home in Pune. She ensured we went to an English speaking school since she had not gone to one. The film is fictionalised and I have not taken real incidents but all through writing the film, I kept my mother in mind to project how she would react to a particular situation. It was catharsis sub-consciously because as a child, somewhere, I must have looked down upon my mother. It’s only later when I moved to Mumbai and started living alone and dealt with men that I remembered my teenage years when I was rebellious and insensitive towards her. Even today, I cringe thinking about incidents where I may have misbehaved and hurt her. For example, that scene where the kids make fun of her pronunciation of ‘Jazz’ is true of my real life. My dad was extremely supportive of her venture and, in fact, partnered with her. But I was a rebel and was closer to my father as I always felt that she loved my brothers more than she loved me. In my teenage years, when my friends meant everything to me and it was cool to go out, I hurt her a lot and often made her cry. Can’t remember why this would happen but it was something to do with her preferring my older brother and I said some nasty things and she was hurt and I told her you don’t know anything.

Were you embarrassed about your mother not knowing English?
Cursorily, at various points, I did feel embarrassed though it was more inside me and others may not have known. She was a great cook and my friends loved coming home. She tells me today that at least because I did not know English, you could make a film. My biggest acid test would be her reaction to the film.

Your film is based on the premise that while a woman gets love, what she does not get is respect. How far do you think it is true in real life?
It’s true for 90 per cent of the women and most of it stems from the fact that women are brought up to think of themselves as being lesser than men. For instance, I am always asked if Balki has been a support through the making of this film, but he was never asked whether I supported him when he made his films. Whenever a man does something special, it is highlighted, whereas a woman’s work is always taken for granted.

Do you believe that men will feel guilty after watching the film?
After watching the film, Amit Trivedi and Swanand Kirkire felt guilty that they had behaved like that with their wives/mothers. Boney Kapoor had tears in his eyes. He felt that for 15 years, he had taken his wife for granted, ignoring the fact that she had been an actress. Our Tamil supervisor saw it and said the film changed his perspective towards his wife.

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/bollywood/news-interviews/I-am-a-better-director-than-Balki-Gauri-Shinde/articleshow/16697950.cms